Be Awesome, true story

Awesome Goh, Stella, XueQi ❝ personal · photo · blog ❞ | about · twitter · facebook

A Statement

♥ I was growing up, and now i am growing old. Follow me, not in the chase of youth, but in the journey of understanding myself better.

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< @xueqi04

A List

No 1 Buy a pair of awesome heels

No 2 Finish my school Assignment

No 3 Wait for payday! Wheee

No 4 Donna's Birthday

I Love

Yoga Lin. Pipa. Music. Lang Lang. Tyra Banks. America's Next Top Model. How i met your mother. Scandal. The client list. 康熙来了.

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Regret

Many times, i regretted the decision i had made 2 years ago. I kept myself positive for a year, telling myself i would survive through this 2 years. I had regreeted many times, but i had no choice. If i looked back, i would realised that i had chosen the wrong path. I had the choice to choose, but why did i choose this route? What can i say? I still have to survive through this. There is still 1 more year to go. How i hoped to be in music and audio technology. Why did i change it the very last minute to chemical process? Why did i?

Hai, many times, i realised i made wrong decisions. I did wrong judgement, and i shouldnt be rash. Yes xiangle, you are right, i always tend to be negative. I will try to be happier. Because i always block myself from all the positive thinking. What should i do? I have really no one to talk to now, i hope someone can enlighten me.

I didnt want to make her unhappy. Being friends for such a long time, i feel that she is the one that cares for me the most, from when i joined syco until now. Even though i am not as good as her, she still supports me and tells me to work hard. She always block me away from negative thinking and starts to cheer me up always. If only i wasn't approached in this matter, maybe we would be more happier that way, practising pipa together, laming together at her house, sharing new gossips, doing new stuffs and exchange. Isn't it better? But when i realised that she hasnt gave me the trust and doesnt see me as close friend, i feel so disappointed. Because no matter what unhappy topics we had last time, she was still my closest friend. I trust her the most, and i told her almost everything that i had. I understand that i cannot force this type of things, but i hope she can get over this incident now. I dont want to see her sad anymore. Yes i admit, it doesnt feel good to be accused, i should have tried to understand more. Hope you get well soon, i hope you will be ok..

Lessons, i still dont know if i should go. It seemed that i am too regular but i havent been doing as much thing. I dont want to be seen as getting too much 'free' things.. So i decided maybe i shouldnt go lesson too. But i wanted to get the money for the tickets from hong shen and phoebe, and i can only see them on saturday. Hai i should think of a way to get the money then.

I feel abit bad. I promised the syco people to go back, and now they ask me why i havent been going back, instead i will be going to ge. Should i go back? I should right? But michelle isn't staying, what should i do? I hope she stays, then i will go back too. I dont want the syco friends to hate me for not going back..

Frustrated..
God bless..

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