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I wanted to type all in chinese but considering for michelle, jeremy, yiqing and jake, i decided to blog this part in english. I was gone lower and lower i know, i have been a very troublesome person. I am not depressed now, maybe i am just lost for the period, but i will find myself back. I realised a lot of people want a new xueqi. I think the old xueqi is really terrible. But, i am really trying. Jake, i am sorry, i didnt mean to affect our learning on sunday, i know you said nevermind, and when you said nevermind means nevermind. But i still feel bad, i didnt know i hindered your learning. I know you dont like hearing this, but i ensure no second time i promise! I suddenly realised i have so many people concerned for me. Thank you michelle, for concerning whether i am ok and always trying to tell me new gossips! Also always there for me when i feel lost or bottled up. Although you are insensitive sometimes, you are the bestest friend i can ever have.. Thank you jeremy, even though you dont know what happen you can still msn me and sms me to help me. Helping me in pipa alot of times too, and thanks for listening to me grumble sometimes and never spread it out! I have so many people to thank. I really want to thank one by one. Ivan, you are a great friend beside me. Maybe you are still quite young, but i know you are always supporting whatever decisions i make. Yiqing, you know how good a friend you are to me right? The one that is forever at one side praying that i will be ok and hope that i will be the new xueqi, free of problems and depression. And always making me feel so happy when we go out. Honestly speaking, when we go out, i feel real happy. I love going out with you and also when we go out as a group. The memory still lies at when we went vivo.. I hope next time when we go beach it will be a memorable one! Thank you nic, always sending message hoping i will be ok. I know you care, you are like a brother to me, i guess everyone knows right? hha.. chunmei, i wont forget you, you are like a sister to me also. I dont have a sister and it feels great to have u around.. A good listener there for me and i simply love this girl!! Thank you jake, just now i mentioned earlier what i want to thank. Adding on to what i said previously, i never forgot what you said about what a friend should be like. Thank you jake.. You are my philosopher HHA.. Taikhoon, thank you for the sms to concern i am really touched.. Xiangle, although u are in army, but the words are in my brain. I never forgot what you told me, just that i worry too much. Thank you for entrusting quartet to me, i will try to do the best for u! All the others that care, i havent forgotten about all of you, just that there is too much.. I will never forget tthe blessings from all my friends during gradings-michelle, rachel, avilyn, nic, yiqing, jeremy, ivan, jake, chunmei, jiayan. thank u all! Some things i want to say here. I am not blogging for you to see, i am blogging for my own sake. I know what you mean by all those. the words hurt me sometimes, but i am able to pick myself up. I know where are the limits, you really dont have to draw for me. I didnt know i was so terrible to you, but i hope after this week, you can see me differently. I hope i wont have such an impression in you anymore. I am sorry, i am such a terrible student to you. I am NOT depressed, i will pick myself from wherever i am now. I am xueqi, i am not someone trying to seek special attention, whether on purpose or not. I will make myself not like that anymore. Maybe when you come back after your trip, you wont think that way anymore. But please, dont feel negative towards me, can u? I cried after hanging up, not because i am depressed, but because.. I am lost.. Avilyn, you woke me up with a few important points mentioned. I will try not to be back into square anymore. I will try to be more considerate and think from other people's point of view. I will not be stubborn anymore. I will jia you for myself! And for the sake of not letting my teacher and you to dislike me and get irritated. This is a nightmare, i want to wake up. Thank you jake, for the promise. |