Be Awesome, true story

Awesome Goh, Stella, XueQi ❝ personal · photo · blog ❞ | about · twitter · facebook

A Statement

♥ I was growing up, and now i am growing old. Follow me, not in the chase of youth, but in the journey of understanding myself better.

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< @xueqi04

A List

No 1 Buy a pair of awesome heels

No 2 Finish my school Assignment

No 3 Wait for payday! Wheee

No 4 Donna's Birthday

I Love

Yoga Lin. Pipa. Music. Lang Lang. Tyra Banks. America's Next Top Model. How i met your mother. Scandal. The client list. 康熙来了.

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I realised so many things. and i decided to write a letter to shuai ge. I cant take it anymore. I want to tell him so many things, but i cant verbally. Because we only talk during workplace and that is the place where we cant talk as much.

I heard about shuai ge's past. I really feel very sad for him. He made me feel useless. It is like-what am i living for? I feel so happy that he loved his family. But the contradiction is, i dont like my family. Sometimes, it triggers to hate. Unless you really know me, if not i think no one has the right to tell me not to hate. Because i really hate. I really do. Hating so much.. until when i see a wall i hope i can bang towards it, that when i cross the road i hope i get knocked. I really hate my life, i hate the life i am given. And i hate whatever i am given now. Even the pipa, i got it through exchanging conditions. Tell me, is this considered family? Can i feel any warmth? Some times i see no colour. The only time i enjoy myself, is when i am in orchestra, i am having solos, i am working or when i am in school or anywhere learning. Solitude is what i can never have. Never. Because my family isnt able to give me or rather, spare me any privacy. So, i dont know what to say. But i cant die. I shouldnt die. But if one day, i really have accident, i will not be like those determined people to have miracles happening to them and in the end they live. I will be those who have total no determination to live. Provided that i see something worth to live strongly in future. Although i dont give a dame about my life, but i will not degrade myself and make myself die or sth.

I am some comments to you. Although you are a chef, it doesnt mean that we waiters and waitress are like shit to you. It doesnt mean you can look at us like some dog or whatever. It doesnt mean that you can give us such attitude. Just because you are a chef. I will not say who, please do not ask me. You are too arrogant. I hate. I hate that sucking attitude of yours. Achieveing perfection is absolutely not wrong. I admire you because you put 100% in work. But not also always thinking that you are the greatest.

Tml hsing hai. I dont look forward.

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