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Recently have been dealing alot with thinkings.. alot with.. uncertainties. 深怕自己做不到。。 深怕自己会失去自己。。 害怕遗忘了很多事情的重要性。。 害怕自己会再次的经历曾经经历过的。。 害怕会在深陷。。 担心的心情，掩盖了自己应有的乐观。。 怀疑很多事情的存在。。 怀疑联系每一个人的重要性。。 很多事情，我并没瞎，没聋。 警觉性，我不是没有。。 如有刻意隐藏什么，是可以的，我也无所谓了。 我不再去在乎，你们的重要性。。 Just want to pen down.. Because i feel so sick keeping it bottled in the heart inside myself. Just want to be myself sometimes, but i learnt not to confront anymore. Because it results in nothing, i have to know.. Not everyone can understand my point.. especially in friendships.. the connection. If the person dont get it.. i'll just leave it. Not everything can belong to me.. Not even relationships.. either bgr in future.. or friendships.. Learnt something new. Something i am happy to learn about :) Had theory yest.. Quite fun. Usually i dread going.. but when i reach i feel happy i am there to learn :) I just love music.. although isnt easy. jiayou to myself :) want to keep playing music happily.. instead of burdening myself or anyone down :) Then we had pizza before lesson, cause the air con there is the best haha.. Also, i went home after lesson.. cause its so hot.. i told myself, might as well sweat more, so i practised pipa. And yes i sweat alot haha. i bathed 3 times yest! SO SCARY.. haa Today had hsing hai. Comp is back with photoshop! Thanks uncle andrew! haa. Hsing hai had new song. I am nt a fav of the new song.. But shall play.. learnt alot this week. Or rather, accumulation from last week. The side reading skill shen lao shi taught.. I learnt it hard when it applies to side reading session this week. Also learnt alot about what sam said.. about left hand.. When i applied it on pipa yest during prac and today during orchestra. I feel so glad, being in hsing hai. Had a talk with sam over phone on sat.. He asked whether i am happy in hsing hai. Yes i am.. Because its healthy music. Need not be the best music. Best music comes.. When all of us are happy and not competitive.. When all of us are willing to give.. When we dont always think of losing.. But think of giving it.. When all of us are happy, looking each others' look of satisfaction. Because its music.. Something that keeps us going. Of course, as soloists and orchestra players.. its 2 concepts.. shouldnt mix it.. Then after prac we went lan haa. Hot lan today man.. But had fun playing together :) Shall revive the zi bi dai jun! haa.. Went to eat at the food court with ivan and he acc me to shop for xiangle's present. Thanks ivan for the accompany .. always.. On this note, i want to encourage chunmei. Jiayou for pipa. I hope u can make it by july. If you do,, i treat you to something okie? I still remember.. i taught you before, so i really hope u can reach to sam's expectations.. Hope you can really make it. If you love pipa, you will do it. JIAYOU! I shall really work hard this week.. in school.. and pipa. Jiayou to myself too! 因为，我不再去在乎。 |