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messed up.. I dont know how to explain how i am feeling currently. Feel like i did something wrong, but theoretically i didnt.. But i think too much, so i think maybe the person will feel offended. But i just want to express how i feel. I cannot please the whole world. I cannot please everyone around me, neither do i expect the whole world to understand me. Know what i am saying.. But i feel very sad, to a certain extent.. The understanding my friends have ... I realised not much people understand me. Who can be out there to talk to me? I have been independent for so long, trying to be a big sis, be a teacher, a guidance.. But i havent been fragile for quite a while. I hide myself under the mask too. But not hypocrite. If everyone could have mutual understandings, maybe i wouldnt have to worry it like now? i guess so.. I just wanted to get a point across, but sometimes, i lose control. Like today. Planned to explain a simple stuff, but i add other info in, to make it complicated which i didnt even know and i dont even know whether the other party is unhappy with me. I only know, i can only be myself.. I dont want to please people anymore. I want to be myself.. can i dont consider other people's feelings? Who can i go to? Feel like swimming in the middle of the pool, if i dont continue swimming, i wont reach the end, but i dont know when the end is ahead of me. Its such a complicated feeling... i feel so sad, not to be understood. I am also human, i need some .... respect? i feel so sad, like gonna cry. I not gonna help anyone anymore. When i help people, who helps me? |