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firstly, allow me to thank the TENG company for giving me chance to work with them as stage manager, because it is a job that made me learn so much, made me realise so much things in this particular job, that a performance is not possible and successful without good lightings, good sound device, good plannings, good crew. It was made all possible with efficient people, and i do thank everyone in the nus crew. Azim for lightings, daniel for the lappie, Raj for the sound, and the 2 student crews, He bin and another lady shunti (i donno how to spell haha). So these jobs really allowed me to learn alot, i mean it. I see how working with efficient people are like, i realised how hard it could be to make a show successful. I realised why nus UCC is good. I really do :) I see good musicians, i learn from them too. I see avilyn, i learnt from dexin, i looked at boon yew, i admire yiming, i love ines, so many people i want to compliment. darrel's yinse is superb, i dont know what to say.. patrick is good! singapore musicians, woo hoo to u! SEA can do well too!! hee... i spent around 3 4 days with TENG, so i really thank the chance, because of this, i got to know them in person and it is super cool! Yesterday, i realised something. i still trust people easily. I learnt from a big lesson, that i shouldnt do that too frequent. not to people i trust from intuition. well yea, i lose, so i gain. I had a very eventful evening with miss michelle low! I dont know how we can be so mad together sometimes. Although our character are rather different. She likes things i usually wont and i settle for life she doesnt love. But well we click! haha.. So it was fun, with her complaining hungry so we settled eventually at new york x 2 for dinner. Ate everything together, shared.. so that we can eat from appetizers to dessert. and we did (claps...) then gossipped alot, chat alot.. and decide to go marina play arcade.. so while we were walking by citylink.. saw ma xiao lan.. but we missed her so we didnt say hi.. saw hou yue hua and we were like WOO WOO! haha.. so we chatted for quite a while and then we started taking pictures heh.. it will be shown below.. Then because its FUN, so we continued walking and saw more people we knew.. walked to esplanade and looked at one fun daiko interaction with audiences.. amazed with singaporean's ability to react to such activities.. its nice to see :) turned back.. and whooo! MDC... haha. so went to watch MDC play.. so saw alot of people! like weikang ah.. got teachers.. and got guo lao shi! funny thing is michelle say she hoped to see him and she really did! so cute right.. so we chat about sy.. then we talked bla bla.. then took pic! took some pic with youguo they all too :) its a fun day seriously. Michelle succeeded making my mood great yest! haha... usually i entertain people.. she does opposite. which is why opposite friends will click :) Then today is busy.. i woke up.. ivan came by.. we prac for the gig we supposed to perform.. and more or less settled. then he went to sam.. i went to siong lin to play. siong lin never changed. but i didnt see mei e lao shi.. only saw a new teacher, which i still donno her name. my seniors all there, i see biyu jie and the handsome laoshi! haha.. u know.. handsome people make my mood good de hha.. Practice went well! s=usually i struggle in siong lin cause its hard to catch up with what they sing.. now i could hear the notes literally.. i felt that i improved. music theory lessons do really help me alot.. i am amazed.. then finished prac and i went to meet ivan. potong pasir.. then he told me about lesson and bla bla bla.. he is fortunate.. to continue lessons on. I didnt plan on.. pipa has turned into an hobby for me. i realised i need not be the top to feel good about my own playing.. i also realised that, given my current stage in learning now, i should learn to listen and experience more around me.. to listen to musicians around me.. to look at teachers' playing in front of me.. to feel more about music.. and not spoon feeding. Sam has done enough, and more than that. i want to experience music, i want to feel the existence of music. its amazing.. music does wonders.. it makes me feel alive, yet breathless.. then went to the gig place. its a monastery apparantly, not pure one though. but anw.. they are super nice i must say. real nice.. gui yu is super nice to help us with food, rooms, location, performance room. she didnt let us feel out in the whole group of people. people over there are friendly and nice hearted. isit with regards to being a buddhist?? i donno.. just feel that they are happy inside out.. whereas.. i am not. but nevermind :) The gig is good. me and ivan prac. he had ideas, i had mine. i suggested a little, and he changed it into a good one. first time i felt good about a gig.. because its not looking at scores, its feeling music.. and go with it. its interesting.. because i never got to do this with my quartet and its a good feeling. so i thank him for helping me.. i thank guiyu for allowing me to see something new again. i thank life.. i thank my mum for giving birth to me, allowing me to hear.. to see.. to feel.. allowing me to realise.. i have so many reasons to continue living on. i must make use of all my senses, and not let it go to waste. everyone should use all they have too.. and not take it for granted and turn bitchy. reached home.. reality turns back on. i have theory homework to finish.. theory to study.. 2 solos to prepare.. 1 sight read test to prepare for. honestly speaking.. isnt alot.. but i feel so empty. ben does not support me doing music this way, sam does not approve me doing music. i am facing this audition myself. i didnt tell sam, because i know he wont be bothered. i tell ben, but he is only concerned about my abrsm exam. Is that because i want to live a life with me deciding what i want, that people will not help me even if they do not agree? i dont know.. i will go to an audition.. and if i get in.. then i will hurray to myself in front of the letter.. its an irony.. i have teachers.. but sometimes i feel that i dont have any.. got hsing hai tml.. got theory lesson in the morning. gotta go do homework :) pictures down!          
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